RJ Hamster
COMEDY Poem: It’s Funny Because It’s True, by Ricky…
I go for a roast beef sandwich— the table a peace treaty between greens and gravy.We’re joking about the choir, how altos drift like shopping carts, how sermons sometimes wander too. I tease her about converting zombies; she tells me to quit watching zombie movies.“Never,” I retort.The waitress swings by, coffee pot in hand: “Everything okay?”“It’s delicious,” I say, through a mouthful of beef. She just nods, chewing lettuce like it’s holy work.I lean in: “She’s missing out; she can’t eat this. Allergic.”I taunt her with a bite, “Mmmm… so good…”She points a fork with a strawberry on it at me, takes a slow bite, and says nothing.“That’s fair,” I quip. To the waitress: “I’m allergic to strawberries.”The waitress laughs, shakes her head. “Walnuts’ll do me in. If one sneaks onto a salad— game over.”“Between us three,” I say, “we’re a lawsuit waiting to happen.”She chuckles, lets the moment breathe, then tilts her head: “So… how do you two know each other?”The pastor sets down her fork, smooth as a hymn: “I’m his pastor.”And me—timing it just right— I blurt: “We’re not fucking.”CommentLike |
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