Got some STUFF for WEDNESDAY???
Date: Wed, Feb 12, 2025 at 4:20 AM
Subject: Got some STUFF for WEDNESDAY???
To:
The old cowboy, who had just started to read his book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly.
“Okay,” he said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”
The atheist, visibly surprised by the old cowboy’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the cowboy replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know shit?”… ==============================================
HE WASTED ALL THAT MONEY?
Where is the body?
“The blanket lines up nicely with my dog’s face.”
“Dogman”
“My cat climbed into a box of cat food and lined up perfectly with the cat on the outside of the box.”
“Headless bubble run.”
“Outdoor toilet?”
“This building.”
“The hotel hallway makes her look tiny.”
“And just like that…he gained his wings.”
“Bookmark my husband got me.”
THE STORY OF THE STUD BULL WHO COULD IMPREGNATE EVEN THE FLIES THAT FFLEW NEARBY.
Don Alejo had a BREEDING BULL, the best bull in the region. That bull was his unique asset. Local ranchers discovered that the bull was the best breeder in the area, and began to RENT IT to crossbreed their cows, proving that the best calves came out of this crossbreeding, and the bull became the farmer’s sole and main source of income.
In addition, the BULL was fast and productive, he did not forgive any cow that passed by him, and it seemed that he would never tire of procreating.
One day, the ranchers gathered together and they decided to buy the bull so as not to depend on Don Alejo anymore.
A representative came and told him: “Put a price on your bull, we will buy it from you.”
The farmer, who did not want to lose his source of income, asked for a very high amount only to be rejected.
The ranchers complained to the Mayor about the price of the animal and he, aware of the problem, bought the bull with municipal funds, registering it as MUNICIPAL HERITAGE and putting it at the service of the entire community.
On the day of the inauguration of the services, the farmers brought their cows to be impregnated by the bull. They put the first one in, and nothing.
“It must be the cow,” said one, “it’s very skinny.”
They brought him a great Dutch champion, the bull sniffed her, and nothing!!
They went around the whole rodeo, but the bull didn’t even flinch!
The Mayor, furious, called the former owner and asked him to solve the problem…
He had spent taxpayers’ money and did not want to think that it was all just another scam.
Don Alejo approached the bull and spoke in his ear: “What are you doing, Brother Toro? Don’t you want to work anymore?”
The Bull looked at him for a long time…and very lazily he answered: “WHY THE HELL SHOULD I WORK? DON’T YOU SEE THAT I AM NOW A PUBLIC SERVANT?”
Smile…….laughter is the cure for the soul
A woman walks into Cabela’s to buy a rod and reel for her son’s birthday. She isn’t sure which one to get, so she randomly grabs a set and takes it to the counter.
The clerk, standing there in dark glasses, seems to be blind. She says, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me about this rod and reel?”
He responds, “Ma’am, I’m completely blind, but if you drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything about it just by the sound it makes.”
Skeptical, she drops it on the counter.
He listens for a moment and then says, “That’s a 6-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-pound test line. A great all-around combo, and it’s on sale this week for $20.”
Amazed, she says, “That’s incredible! I’ll take it!”
As she opens her purse to get her credit card, it slips out of her hand and falls to the floor.
“Oh, that sounds like a MasterCard,” the clerk says.
She bends down to pick up the card, and in the process, accidentally lets out a little fart. Mortified, she realizes he’s blind and figures there’s no way he could know it was her.
The man finishes ringing up the sale and says, “That’ll be $34.50, please.”
Confused, she asks, “Wait, didn’t you say the rod and reel were $20? How did you get $34.50?”
He replies, “Yes, ma’am. The rod and reel are $20, but the Duck Call is $11, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.”
She paid the bill and left without another word. 👍🇨🇦🤠
