I don’t know who I am anymore

  I used to think I was pretty much just a regular, normal person, but I was born white, into a two-parent household which now, whether I like it or not, makes me privileged, a racist, and maybe even responsible for slavery.

  I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today’s standards, makes me a fascist because I planned, budgeted, and supported myself until retirement.

  I went to High School, got into college, and have always held a job.  But I now find out that I am not here because I earned it, but because I am “advantaged”.

  I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobe.

  I am a Christian, not a Muslim, therefore I am labeled an infidel.

I am older than 60, making me a useless eater of the world’s scarce resources who doesn’t understand Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat.

  I think and I reason, and I doubt much of what the ‘main stream’ media tells me, which makes me a Right-wing conspiracy theorist.

I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive National culture, making me a xenophobe.

  I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.

  I believe our system guarantees freedom of effort – not freedom of outcome or subsidies which must make me a borderline sociopath.

  I believe in the defense and protection of our nation for and by all citizens, now making me a militant. 

  I am proud of our flag, what it stands for, and the many who died to let it fly, so I stand during our National Anthem – so I must be a racist.

Please help me come to terms with the new me because I’m just not sure who I am anymore!  

Funny – it all took place over the last few years!

If all this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with, now I don’t even know which restroom to use… and these days I gotta go more frequently than ever!