As we kick off a new year, all the work it takes to keep a household running remains the same. The budgets need to be set, the bills need to be paid. The kids need to be cared for, and taken to never-ending activities. And the housework — the millions of little decisions, details and tasks it takes to keep it all moving — still needs to get done.
But that doesn’t mean the way we approach the work of life has to stay the same. In fact, the New Year is a perfect time to step back and take stock, since research shows that the way we’re doing it now isn’t working for anyone. As Kate Mangino notes in our call to action, one of the most common household dynamics is where both partners earn income, but one person does two-thirds of the household work.
And it turns out, that’s not good for either partner — even the one doing less, since they can feel stressed about being valued only for earning, cut off from family life and lonely. “Greater equality in the home leads to stronger teams: less resentment, more respect, better communication and ownership of shared responsibilities,” she writes.
So, how do we get there? The truth is household equality will never just happen by chance — both parties have to work it. And we’ve come up with a way to get started, covering three big pillars of the mental load at home: finances, caregiving and housework. We look at different ways of combining money, and how couples can work together to keep on top of it.
We examine the invisible forces that push one parent to become the “default” parent, and how to push back against them — plus how to get kids involved in their own housework. And speaking of chores, we look at what it would finally take to reach that ever-elusive balance — if it’s even possible.
Yes, some of the reasons for the imbalance are beyond our control, and would require massive structural and social shifts to improve. But there’s plenty we can do, starting today — and it’s worth it to have these conversations, because when the game is fairer, everyone wins.
